Denise R. Weuve

Ink Damage and Other Permanent Stains

I’ve Worked This Too Long

Okay blogverse, I need some help with a poem, and my friends do not return text at 11am on a saturday. This simply tells you how good last night was for them. My last night was glued to a computer screen working and reworking a poem, that has finally found a breaking point in my head.
the poem is about fires and smoldering out and uses it as a metaphor for a relationship (shocking, I know, poems about relationships). The stanzas are three lines each with a 4, 2, 4 syllable run respectively. there are 20 stanzas and these three are closer to the end. I need help with the adjective describing north. I’m thinking maybe colder? snowy? chilly? frosty? maybe leave it icy? just not sure.

Help, opinion all appreciated.

to eat fire. Would
she leave
you? Cold gray groom

at the altar
the way
you left me for

an icy North,
when hot
embers still burned

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One thought on “I’ve Worked This Too Long

  1. Katherine Okpara on said:

    Love this! Maybe a frigid north?

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